I Carry You In My Heart


“Retrospect” 

Hello my muse, we meet again

In dreams of far off lands

I’ve missed you so while you’ve been gone

I’ve missed your face, your hands

 

Do you remember the last time we spoke?

We argued about some little things

I think your heart broke in time with mine

Oh what clarity retrospect brings

 

I seek you out in my darkest times

To hold your eyes and gather myself

It’s only you that ever knew

How much of me I placed on a shelf

 

I’m still learning to take shelves down

To let myself live and breathe

I’ll never forget your words of wisdom

And how at the time, they made me seethe

 

You always spoke the truth to me

Whether I wanted your input or not

We’d share a menthol moment

And you’d offer me a clear, sobering thought

 

Our hearts always found each other

Eventually, we met in the middle with ease

Hands clasped, eyes shining bright

And no pressure to appease

 

I’ve never understood why you went away

I suppose that’s how it is supposed to be

But believe me, my muse, you’re never far

You will always be right here beside me

        It never ceases to amaze me how you can be taken back to a certain point in time, a memory, a conversation, in an instant.  I sat down to write not knowing what I was going to say.  Then words flooded me and all I could think of was my lost friend.  It’s been almost seven years and I’ve made my peace, as much as possible, with his passing.  Today, however, I’ve been brought to my knees with his memory.  The mind is mysterious.  Why do our emotions betray us?  Is it even a betrayal?  I don’t even venture to take a guess.  As I catch my breath and take a moment to think of him I am full of optimism.  That may sound odd in the face of grief but it has always been something I associated with him.  That was his gift to me, self assurance.  He always challenged me to take my life head on and to remember that things will not always go my way but that doesn’t mean I can’t adapt.

 Thank you Matthew, for every word you ever bestowed upon me.

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2 Responses to “I Carry You In My Heart”

  1. Brieuse Bernhard Piers-Gûdmönd Says:

    Lovely piece. Lovely writing. Thanks

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