Archive for #journaling

What is She talking about?

Posted in Everything Under the Sun with tags , , , on November 19, 2014 by SereneDelusions

I’m finally feeling the writing bug again.   It’s been a long time, far too long.   I’ve spent too much time trying to figure out what to do with the blog.   How should I organize it?   What should I post where?  Is that the font I want?   Are these colors working?   Should my content have a different flow?   Do I want this part to be public?  

It’s no wonder how I get so overwhelmed when I put so much pressure on myself.   So what if sometimes this will read like a whiney, ‘dear diary’ monologue? There’s a freedom to public journaling that, while terrifying at times, is more often a welcome release.  I need to let things go and start fresh with this thing.   Or something  like that.

I’m too anxious.   I’m highly emotional.   I’m overly practical.   I beat myself up too often about my all too human faults.

I’m also witty and sarcastic.    I can make most people laugh with my demeanor.   I smile easily.  I’m a curious, knowledge hungry, daydreamer.  I’m all too human and that’s not all too bad.

There’s a point in here somewhere.  I can’t promise you that I’m going to be consistent or reliable.  I need these pages though.   For some reason I keep coming back here because it feels like the right outlet.  

I’ll be back soon.   Hopefully I’ll have some daydreams to share.

Much love.

                                      

Just Live

Posted in Dear Diary..., Everything Under the Sun, You & The Universe with tags , , , , , , , on October 5, 2013 by SereneDelusions

I am so inspired tonight that can’t hold it in.  This is great because the day started off horribly.  I woke up in an off mood that only got worse as the day progressed.  Occasionally, I get lost in my sadness.  I get overwhelmed by the world.  My mind becomes a haze of self-doubt and pessimism.  It’s an awful habit that I don’t think I will ever truly overcome.  I’ve learned to live with these days and accept that everyone has them.  The bad days fuel a lot of my creative drive though.  I’m a fairly melancholic person and I’m okay with that.  It makes me pensive and a lot of the time fuels my thirst for knowledge as well.  I wear all of these feelings on my sleeve, all of the time.  Always.  I can’t help that sometimes I feel such  passion for life.  It makes me want to shake people by the shoulders and yell:

“Do you SEE that?  Do you see what we can accomplish?  We, humans, are all so damn amazing and we keep screwing it all up!”

And even though that awe of humans is always present, sometimes I can barely get out of bed in the morning because I am so bogged down.  The point is that I do get out of bed.  I make an effort to live.  That’s all I can really do.

So everyday, I promise myself something: I will not give up.  I will not cease trying to be the person I know I can be.  Not for acceptance, not for acknowledgment or achievement, not for anyone else but myself.

(I realize that this will be my fourth post in a row containing a video of some sort but you’re just going to have to deal with it.)

Music is one of humanity’s greatest achievements thus far.  It inspires me daily that we have the ability to create such beauty.  It distracts me from all of the awful things we’re capable of, even if only for mere moments.

 

Let It Rain

Posted in Everything Under the Sun with tags , , , , on September 17, 2013 by SereneDelusions

Sometimes you build walls to keep people out but sometimes you build them to hold yourself together.  Who knew masonry would be my expertise? 

We struggle in life to find our purpose.  Through difficulties we strive and we find ourselves.  We discover who we are and who we are not.  Sometimes the overwhelming urge to give up can be the most tempting prospect.  For every moment of clarity there will be multiple moments of blindness.  There will be people who will get in your way.  You will most definitely get in your own way.  Don’t give up.  Don’t turn around.  Take the detour if you must.  Don’t get upset when it rains.  You get your ass out there and dance in it.

Your troubles do not define you but you’re reactions do.

%d bloggers like this: